Shining blue strawberry syrup

Ivan and I had talked about his plans for the day that would change spring into summer. Turns out, he already had plans. He would be gone the whole week on vacation with Alex. Ivan was convinced it would help him get over Alex if they would spend the week constantly on each others lips (not literally) just the two of them. They would fight and start to hate each other. Ivan was sure of it. It would at least be a problem less for me to handle.

But Ivan was not my only problem, since he was not the only person in my life. I needed to make sure no one would find me, come visit me when I had to change.
I had to keep telling my friends that I didn't like the summer festival, while in reality I would love nothing more then to enjoy the start of summer with everyone else. Even as a bird I would go if it wasn't for the cats hunting the city...

My aunt used to help me protect my secret, since she was the one who caused it. All her life she had be focused on was trying to find a way to be as free as a bird: A crazy scientist. Tested a drink on me. When I was six, she asked me if I wanted to fly. As a six year old?

Sure I wanted to fly.

So I drank the drink that tasted like strawberry-syrup and was shining bright blue. To be honest it was the best thing I ever tasted.

When I change, first my neck starts to itch a lot, it's where the feathers start growing then I start shrinking into a little lovebird, fly around a bit. But most of the time I would just stare out the window, look at the outside world, the threes, the leaves, the little insects. Thankfully lovebirds don't eat insects. Just fruit, even as a human I love fruit more then anyone else, but maybe it was because I was a bird. At first the changes were random and more often, one of the main reasons I didn't have any real friends in middle-school, but now the changes have stabilized. Once a year at the start of summer, not sure why it's that day though. It's not my birthday, neither is it the day that I drank the stuff.

After the day I drank it, my parents moved us out of the city to a small village in the middle of nowhere so I could fly free. But soon after we did that, it became clear that the outside world wasn't a safe place for a small bird.

So they moved for nothing.
When I think about it it often makes me feel sad. I cry myself to sleep when I think about all the trouble I put family through. My mom, my dad, my little brother. They still love me, my parents gave me everything I could wish for. So when I decided I shouldn't trouble them anymore and wanted to move out back into the city they help me pay the rent.

It was a challenge living by myself, but still open up to people. I wasn't very good with keeping friendships. Sooner or later they would find out how boring I was. Who wouldn't want to go to the summer-festival?
What I am grateful for though is that we don't have to go to school in summer. College is complicated enough as it is. I've made some friends, some enemies and some people I know I don't even know what they are to me. One day they are all friendly the next they seem to hate me. Very strange. Especially guys. I told you before about my troubles with finding myself one. Some might say they are so easy to understand.
Maybe...
But often when a guy is hitting on me I could never like him and others that show interest talk about me like I'm a piece of meat. Today as well, before I went to teach a classmate my language I decided it was great weather to walk outside and sit on the grass just outside the school for a bit. As I walked passed a table with guys whose faces I didn't even see one of the started talking about how beautiful I was, what a sight, he said, like I was a horse galloping by. And when I wanted to go back inside and pass by him again he said it again.
Events like this make me feel insecure. When guys say stuff like that do they mean it?
It is something I really would like to know, even though most of the time they are not my type anyway. (If any of you have an answer, please let me know)

Good thing that it was weekend now though. But tomorrow I would go to a party with my friends. I hope it is a fun one, because so far I haven't been to any with them that I actually enjoyed. But I don't want them to think I'm boring again.

"Are you even watching this movie?"
As Ivan spoke up I got back from my thoughts. Even though I had wanted to watch Mamma Mia, one of Ivan's favorites (He made me promise not to tell anyone), I couldn't pay any attention to the movie.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing. Can you start the movie again? I will really pay attention this time."
It didn't seem to disappoint Ivan as he jumped up with a big smile, starting the movie again and we sang along with each song. It was a good thing that Ivan was here for now. I will be sad when I loose him as a friend. I thought as I looked at him dance on one of the songs. Seeing a though-looking guy dance like that, sure made me laugh.

Love nest?... not so much xD

After we finished watching the movie Ivan had come home with me and had been living with me for the last few days. As it turns out, he is gay.
On one hand it was a disappointment, loosing yet another chance to getting a boyfriend, but on the other it was a relieve, at least he wouldn't rape me. He was in love with Alex, but Alex saw him more as the annoying little brother and somehow they had become best friends. Not that Ivan was happy with that...

He had not been sleeping in my closet, I happen to have an extra bed. It did become a little crowded though and I was starting to wonder how long Ivan was planning to stay. Especially with Alex coming here all the time now as well. I would ask him that later, first I needed food.

I just got out of bed and wandered into the kitchen getting my breakfast when Ivan suddenly started talking to me. Still half asleep I hadn't even noticed him yet. I looked at him. I hadn't heard what he sad, but he looked kind of frightened.

"What is it?"

"Please tell me honestly Maria. What do you change into every two weeks?"

I looked at him weirdly, not sure what he was talking about.
"On your calender it mentions 'change' every two weeks."

I laughed. "You didn't know? I change into a dragon every two weeks."

I laughed even more as his mouth dropped open. "Seriously?"
"Of course not! You would actually believe that? It just reminds me I need to change my contacts."

"Believe me, with what I've seen in my life I would."
Yes, that concluded it. I really needed Ivan to move out. For the fact alone that my secret was in danger...
I might not turn into a dragon every two weeks, but I do change into a lovebird once a year. One who knows about my obsession for finding love might say I'm a lovebird all year round, but to change into the actual bird is only once per year on the first dawn of summer. That would be in two weeks, where 'change' had a little star.

But I was curious now. What did Ivan know about unnatural occurrences?
Although I felt as if I was positioning me on dangerous grounds I still asked. "Ivan... what did you see in your life?"
He seemed to think for a moment, then spoke: "Maybe I'll tell you some other time, dove."

A New Beginning...Sort of

"What. Was. I. Doing. Here?"

Who would go to a cinema to find a cute guy?(By herself) There will probably only be some old fart that would want to sit next to me. Just the idea freaked me out, I really didn’t think this through.

Well, I thought I did. I don't like clubs and never find anyone at the bar that I go to with my friends, so I thought maybe the cinema could work. Now you may wonder why I'm so desperate to find myself a guy.
In my whole 20 years of living I had only kissed one guy, my first ass-hole boyfriend. We had only been together for one month and then I broke it off. After that, both my sex and love life were non-existent. I think my first relation made me scared... to disappoint. Besides that all my friends are in steady relationships, some are even engaged. Basically, I'm jealous. I want to have a boyfriend, be engaged and be loved. I tried online dating, didn't work.

So I thought maybe the cinema could work... not. Well at least I could enjoy my favorite movie.
Oh, great. Now mister tall and taller are going to sit in front of me. I won’t even be able to see the movie now. My life sucks. I should have stayed home to study for that exam. I sat back with my arms crossed and angrily stared at the guys' heads. You know what? They are actually not that bad to look at. Maybe a gay couple? What are they talking about? I moved slightly closer to hear them better.

The taller one had put his arm around the shoulder of the other guy and was staring at him intently as if trying to convey a message. Gay couple. I thought. He wanted to make out. But then he started talking. “Alex, man. You really need to let me stay at your place. I can’t go anywhere else.”

"Dude don't get so close to me. You know how I feel about that."
The tallest guy grinned and moved even closer.

Shit, maybe they are going to make out after all. On one hand hot guys making out turns me on, but that then also freaks me out.

"Please?"

Should I just try to start a conversation? Make them stop?

“I told you, I. Don’t. Have. Space!”

“Please, even a closet is fine, as long as it is cheap.”

Should I do it? Yes, no, yes, no…
“You could stay in my closet.”

Both men turned and looked at me with strange faces. I could feel myself blush, deep red. There was a long silence…
Finally the taller guy spoke.
“OK, you’re cute enough.” “Don’t worry, I’m not your type.” I quickly shot back. “How nice, a girl that knows her boundaries. Problem solved. Know I can leave you in save hands, Ivan.” My future roommate’s friend pushed Ivan back, stood up and walked away. “See you later man!” “Wait Alex, the film didn’t even start yet!” “But now you can go sit with her!” “True.” He turned to me. “Hi, I’m Ivan.” He jumped over the seats and sat down in the one next to me. You're Maria, right?" "How do you know..." "Nice to finally meet you." He said and as he did he kissed me on the cheek. I stared at him as he now turned his attention to the movie. I couldn't help but blush. What had I gotten myself into?