Ivan and I had talked about his plans for the day that would change spring into summer. Turns out, he already had plans. He would be gone the whole week on vacation with Alex. Ivan was convinced it would help him get over Alex if they would spend the week constantly on each others lips (not literally) just the two of them. They would fight and start to hate each other. Ivan was sure of it. It would at least be a problem less for me to handle.
But Ivan was not my only problem, since he was not the only person in my life. I needed to make sure no one would find me, come visit me when I had to change.
I had to keep telling my friends that I didn't like the summer festival, while in reality I would love nothing more then to enjoy the start of summer with everyone else. Even as a bird I would go if it wasn't for the cats hunting the city...
My aunt used to help me protect my secret, since she was the one who caused it. All her life she had be focused on was trying to find a way to be as free as a bird: A crazy scientist. Tested a drink on me. When I was six, she asked me if I wanted to fly. As a six year old?
Sure I wanted to fly.
So I drank the drink that tasted like strawberry-syrup and was shining bright blue. To be honest it was the best thing I ever tasted.
When I change, first my neck starts to itch a lot, it's where the feathers start growing then I start shrinking into a little lovebird, fly around a bit. But most of the time I would just stare out the window, look at the outside world, the threes, the leaves, the little insects. Thankfully lovebirds don't eat insects. Just fruit, even as a human I love fruit more then anyone else, but maybe it was because I was a bird. At first the changes were random and more often, one of the main reasons I didn't have any real friends in middle-school, but now the changes have stabilized. Once a year at the start of summer, not sure why it's that day though. It's not my birthday, neither is it the day that I drank the stuff.
After the day I drank it, my parents moved us out of the city to a small village in the middle of nowhere so I could fly free. But soon after we did that, it became clear that the outside world wasn't a safe place for a small bird.
So they moved for nothing.
When I think about it it often makes me feel sad. I cry myself to sleep when I think about all the trouble I put family through. My mom, my dad, my little brother. They still love me, my parents gave me everything I could wish for. So when I decided I shouldn't trouble them anymore and wanted to move out back into the city they help me pay the rent.
It was a challenge living by myself, but still open up to people. I wasn't very good with keeping friendships. Sooner or later they would find out how boring I was. Who wouldn't want to go to the summer-festival?
What I am grateful for though is that we don't have to go to school in summer. College is complicated enough as it is. I've made some friends, some enemies and some people I know I don't even know what they are to me. One day they are all friendly the next they seem to hate me. Very strange. Especially guys. I told you before about my troubles with finding myself one. Some might say they are so easy to understand.
Maybe...
But often when a guy is hitting on me I could never like him and others that show interest talk about me like I'm a piece of meat. Today as well, before I went to teach a classmate my language I decided it was great weather to walk outside and sit on the grass just outside the school for a bit. As I walked passed a table with guys whose faces I didn't even see one of the started talking about how beautiful I was, what a sight, he said, like I was a horse galloping by. And when I wanted to go back inside and pass by him again he said it again.
Events like this make me feel insecure. When guys say stuff like that do they mean it?
It is something I really would like to know, even though most of the time they are not my type anyway. (If any of you have an answer, please let me know)
Good thing that it was weekend now though. But tomorrow I would go to a party with my friends. I hope it is a fun one, because so far I haven't been to any with them that I actually enjoyed. But I don't want them to think I'm boring again.
"Are you even watching this movie?"
As Ivan spoke up I got back from my thoughts. Even though I had wanted to watch Mamma Mia, one of Ivan's favorites (He made me promise not to tell anyone), I couldn't pay any attention to the movie.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing. Can you start the movie again? I will really pay attention this time."
It didn't seem to disappoint Ivan as he jumped up with a big smile, starting the movie again and we sang along with each song. It was a good thing that Ivan was here for now. I will be sad when I loose him as a friend. I thought as I looked at him dance on one of the songs. Seeing a though-looking guy dance like that, sure made me laugh.
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